the fairer sex
by envysparkler
Summary: The Uchiha men may be cold, ruthless, heartless gods but they are nothing - NOTHING - compared to the women. - Uchiha!centric


**a/n:** this is a oneshot inspired [very, very long ago] by **ohwhatsherface** and her story, **Ever After**.

**dedication:** to uchiha sasuke and the way the anime totally butchers his hair.

**disclaimer:** don't own naruto. don't own **Ever After**. don't own shakespeare.

**summary:** The Uchiha men may be cold, ruthless, heartless gods but they were nothing – _nothing_ – compared to the women. – Uchiha-centric.

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**the fairer sex**

* * *

_methinks the lady doth protest too much_

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_**sacrifice**_

**N**one could say that Uchiha Hikari was a _brave_ woman. She was quiet, spoke only when spoken to, and was the perfect picture of a wife of the clan head.

She wasn't an Uchiha by birth – no, Madara valued his descendants too much to delve into an incestuous marriage – but the second daughter of a _daimyo_. The first was too brash, too annoying, too pig-headed for Madara to even consider; therefore Yamanaka Hikari was the logical choice.

She stayed out of matters that didn't concern her, repeated only what he wanted to hear, and was perfectly content to sit still and look pretty.

But, all the same, she loved her reclusive, power-hungry, arrogant husband. She loved the carefree, chaotic Uchiha compound. She loved sitting in her garden and sipping tea, having conversations with her sister-in-law, the beautiful Uchiha Fuya.

And Madara loved her in turn. He loved her so much that – when he discovered the secrets of the Mangekyo Sharingan, of unlimited power and blood-crazy mania – he asked for her life.

And Hikari may not have been brave, she may have quaked at the thought of death and dying, but she was a woman –

And her strength was sacrifice.

* * *

_**loyalty**_

**H**er passion was for missions in the dark, and seductions in the smoke. She hated all-out war, and despised the bloody confrontations, the millions of lives lost.

But it was her village they were attacking.

And no one could declare war on Konoha and get away with it.

Gripping a kunai between her teeth, several shurikens spinning on her fingers, sharingan blazing, she leapt into the battle with all her heart, decimating faceless armies and protecting her fellow shinobi as they battled the Second Shinobi World War.

She may not have cared for war, but she was nevertheless a woman.

And she was loyal – to the end.

* * *

_**honesty**_

**M**others are the most dangerous creatures of all – when provoked.

Uchiha Mikoto stood on the landing, spitting fire through her eyes, regarding her pretentious husband in the way only a woman can.

"You stole my first son," she hissed, and Fugaku belatedly realized how much she sounded like an angry snake, "You turned Itachi into some kind of _robot_ and now you want to take _Sasuke_ as well?"

"Calm down, Mikoto," Fugaku tried to placate her, "I'm doing this for their own good."

"For their own good," her eyes flashed and he stepped away – now, truly afraid. "Itachi stumbles home, drenched in the blood of those he killed on _orders._ He made ANBU at _thirteen_, Fugaku! At thirteen, I was still a Genin!"

Fugaku was suddenly reminded that – despite her looks – Mikoto was once ANBU as well.

"He is still a _child_," Mikoto snarled, "They are _my_ children." She paused and took a slow breath, her arms shaking as to control her rage.

"You will destroy them, Fugaku," Mikoto replied in a voice as calm as a still pond. All traces of her fury were gone, and he realized how much colder she looked.

Years later, Mikoto stumbled on the ruins of what once was her home, standing in the room her children used to live in, and sighed.

For, she was a woman –

"I told you so, Fugaku."

- And she was always right.

* * *

_**love**_

**U**chiha Sasuke was considered cruel, aloof, apathetic. They say he was a prodigy, but a ruthless Avenger. They say he was a monster.

They had never met Uchiha Sakura.

Quick to her fists with a volatile temper, it was a wonder that they got married in the first place. Many of the higher clans scorned his decision to marry the mednin, especially after seeing her pink hair.

But Sasuke knew what few other didn't. His wife may be unladylike – going on missions and coming back with gruesome wounds, elbow-deep in bodies at the hospital, shattering the ground with a single punch – but she was female, nonetheless.

And she had given him the gift of love.

* * *

_**rage**_

**W**hat Uchiha Itachi (the II) didn't quite realize, was why his little sister was crying and trying to kill him at the same time.

He didn't do anything _wrong_ – he was just trying to protect her from the lecherous boys roaming the streets. Never mind the fact that she was a fully capable Chuunin who had mastered her Sharingan faster than both him, and her twin brother, Satoshi.

"You – you _asshole_!" Hana shouted at him, earning snickers from her twin, who was calmly leaning against a tree and reading an orange book.

"Hana!" their mother came out, "Language!"

"Kaasan, Itachi interrupted my date!" Hana gave her mother a depressed look and she fell for it – hook, line and sinker. Itachi wondered why no one believed him when he said she was the devil incarnate.

"Your date?" Sakura gave her a pitying smile, "That was mean, Ita-kun, apologize."

"Minato-kun and I were having such a nice time, too," Hana sniffed. Unfortunately, the mention of the Hokage's son sent her father scrambling into the yard as well.

"Uzumaki Minato?" he looked just as horrified as Itachi, "You're _dating_ the dobe's son? Absolutely not. I will _not_ have Naruto as a brother-in-law. _Never_."

Hana's face turned an interesting shade of purple as she yelled at her father, "YOU LET THE OTHERS DO WHATEVER THEY WANT! ITACHI GOES TO STRIP CLUBS EVERY DAY –"

"Blame your mother for that," Sasuke muttered.

"- SATOSHI READS PORN –"

"Kakashi-sensei's fault," Sakura noted.

"- AND I'M NOT ALLOWED TO GO ON A DATE? UNFAIR, I TELL YOU, UNFAIR!"

"Life isn't fair," Itachi said astutely. His father nodded. Both Sakura and Satoshi wisely decided to stay out of it.

The next morning, Sasuke found all his tomato plants ripped out by the roots, then thoroughly destroyed. Itachi went in the market, only to find that everyone suddenly thought he was gay.

Hana smiled sweetly. Her vengeance wasn't cold – she liked it served violently hot. After all, she was an Uchiha – and a girl.

And her talent was her temper.

* * *

**le fin**

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**a/n:** i…uh…have no idea what this is. i just started writing and this – this _thing_ is what i get. um, enjoy? [if anyone asks, this wasn't me]


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